So what are we DOING today, mama?
-my daughters, every blessed morning
Yes, I need to have a plan for our days– I can’t spend all my time merely responding– someone needs to be the adult around here or entropy will reign supreme. And I do relish the chance to “exercise dominion over the earth,” in ways both large and small. Teaching my daughter to write, crafting a room into a peaceful haven, pouring truth into the hungry hearts that gather around my table. I am glad for the gift of vision. I work to make sure good things happen for our family.
At the same time, it’s easy to become attached to an ill-conceived vision, that leaves no room for grace and prioritizes accomplishments over hearts. That kind of vision fails. It disappoints. Just as one example, I see it sneak in when my baby wakes up hours too early, screaming over new molars, and my first thought is to lament my lost morning. It’s like I can see the “correct” version of the day drifting away across the ocean, leaving me with something sub-par. Woe is me.
Truthfully, though, this is the day I’m supposed to have. Like it or not, this is the correct version. What priorities will be supreme for me: the things I want to do, or the people I love? Am I willing to adjust my compass as providence adjusts my boundaries, or will I stomp and cling to what should have happened?
Over the past five-ish years I’ve sought a vision that will shore up my heart, rather than tyrannize my days, and I have come to believe that God’s calling on my life is pretty simple: to love & to speak life. That’s all. During times when I have felt like I was drowning under babies, or lost in a black-edged mist, or flailing against the smallness of my horizons and smothered by guilt over all I could not do, I have remembered this calling. It has steadied me. It has given me wings. Simple, yes, but– love and life! There is a potential powerhouse of glory.
And the Spirit shows me, even as I go, how best to flesh out this purpose in each season. It’s not a checklist. Really, it’s just a reminder of who I am in Christ.
But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.
I guess God crystallizes his call to each of us in different ways. Perhaps mine will shift and gain nuance with time, but for now I am thankful that he has enabled me to put it into a few brief words. I need them.
May we all, here on the cusp of a new year, understand the simultaneous simplicity and depth of our call, & take hold of the hope and dignity due our reborn selves.